Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was
"running it under Windows." The woman then responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is
under a window, and his is working fine."
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter
'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I
don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard,
Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support:
"'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not
going to do that!"
Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like
a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly
sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will
they be compatible with my computer?"
A tech support person once received a fax with a
note on the bottom to fax the document back to the
sender when he was finished with it, because the
sender needed to keep it.
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on
this diskette?"
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive
phone calls that start something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
Some people pay for their online services with
checks made payable to "The Internet."
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the
Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of
the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...yeah."
Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on
the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-
-because of the icons--I'm a Protestant, and
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry
term sir. I don't believe it was meant to --"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry
Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on
the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...
Is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete
to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash--it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said
before. I crashed my spaceship and now it
doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to
do that?"
